What Goes Through The Mind Of Sirius Black?
by werewolfbitesudie
Summary: What DOES go through the mind of Sirius Black? a two shot story.
1. Chapter 1

_**What goes through the mind of Sirius Black**_

Warning! This involves serious random events, if you don't like random don't read on…**And I do not own Harry Potter, do I look like J.K.?**

_**Stage 1…Forgetfulness **_

"Now Pad for this prank to work, you need to yell and run in that direction," James pointed down the corridor, "Okay."

_So yell and run in that direction right got that, _"When do I do that?"

"When I sneeze loudly," Remus answered.

_So Moony will sneeze and then I'll run and yell in that direction. "Got it!"_

"Are you sure Pad? You ruined it last time because you forgot what to do," asked James.

"Yeah, yeah I got it."

"Places people," James yelled moving down the other end of the corridor.

_So I stand here until Moony sneezes, then I run up the corridor yelling._

Remus suddenly sneezed.

_Oh right that's my queue, _"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Very good Pad, only problem was that was a real sneeze," James yelled from the other end of the corridor.

"Least we know he won't forget this time," retorted Remus.

_Great now I have to walk all the way back over there, stupid Moony._

**Seconds passed…**

_If it wasn't for him I…um…what exactly did he do again?_

Remus sneezed as classes started to file out of the classrooms.

_I still can't remember, I wish Remus would stop sneezing…wait sneezing? _"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Sirius it would have worked two seconds ago when there were people here, now the corridor is completely empty!" James blasphemed.

"Um…oops?"

_**Stage 2…Laziness**_

_So hungry, great hall so far away._

"Hey Sirius," James exclaimed, "Look what I snatched from the kitchens." James placed a bag full of food on the table.

_Mmm…but table so far away from chair. _"Can you pass me a custard tart Prongs?"

"No I can not," said James affronted.

_Friggen idiot can't he just pass me one? _"You pain me Prongs!"

"What sort of a pain? A nuisance, grief or ache?" James enquired.

_Just pass me some food! _"All of the above can you just…"

"No," said James simply.

_Maybe if I reach for one, then I won't have to get of the chair. So lift up arm and stretch, only centimeters away from it now. Just a bit further, oh no…no! I'm going to fall head into the ground, no, nearly there!_

BANG! "OUCH!"

James cracked up as Sirius fell head first onto the ground.

_OW, now I have to sit up, or I could stay here, it is quite comfy on the floor. _

"Sirius, get up," James mocked.

"Can't sleeping."

"You can't sleep there, I thought you were-"

_Snore, snore, snore._

_**Stage 3…Annoyingness**_

_I'm bored, maybe I should sing a song? Yeah I'll sing…beautiful by Christina Aguilera._

"I am beautiful, no matter what they say, words can't bring me down,

I am beautiful in every single way, yes words can't bring me down, ohh no, so don't you bring me down today-"

"Pad! Shhhh!" James yelled annoyed.

_Oh, I guess he doesn't like that song, my I should sing something more James like. Um…ha got one. Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day._

"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever know,

don't know where it goes, but its home me and I walk alone,

I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams,

where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone,

I walk alone, I walk alone-"

"Sirius!" James warned, gazing into the fire obviously forgotten the answer to their homework.

_Doesn't seem to like that one either, maybe he like the older type of songs. I can sing Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne._

"He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious,

he was a punk, she did ballet, what more can I say,

he wanted her, she'd never tell, secretly she wanted him as well,

all of her friends, stuck up their nose, they had a problem with his baggy clothes,

he was a skater boy, she said see you later boy, he wasn't good enough for her,

she had a pretty face, but her head was up in space, she needed to come back down to earth,

five years from now, she sits at home, feeding the baby she's all alone-"

"If you sing one more," James threatened, scribbling out yet another line.

"Leave him alone Prongs, he's doing something creative," assured Remus.

"The only thing creative he's doing is annoying the hell out of me!" James growled.

_Maybe I should sing him a good feeling song, to make him feel better, like…Wayward Angel by Kasey Chambers._

"Well I am a wayward angel,

I don't suffer I don't cry

And late in the night you're sleeping

I come to hover by your side

So close your weary weathered eyes

These tears are just a faint disguise

Cause I am a wayward angel

I don't suffer I don't cry

Cold in the heart of winter

Make you shiver make you blue

I'll stay close by your window

Give you blankets to hold on to

So you sleep my baby for a while

You'll wake with the light of a mothers smile

Cause I am wayward-"

"You'd be an angel if you shut up!" snarled James, he picked up a book and started to read it.

_Fine guess Prongs doesn't like angels, maybe he likes Shut Up by Simple Plan?_

There you go, you're always so right,

It's all a big show, it's all about you,

You think you know, what everyone needs,

You always take time to criticize me,

It seems like everyday I make mistakes,

I just can't get it right,

it's like I'm the one you love to hate, but not today

so shut up, shut up, shut up,

don't wanna hear it-"

"Good idea Pad, Shut up! I DON'T want to hear it!" roared James snapping the book shut.

Remus ignored the two and just kept reading in silence.

_Fine that's it, he won't let me sing so I'll sing something annoying, I'll sing So Yesterday by Hilary Duff, now that's got to be annoying!_

You can change your life- if you wanna

you can change your clothes- if you wanna

if you change your mind

well that's the way it goes

but I'm gonna keep your jeans

and your old black hat- cause I wanna

they look good on me

you're never gonna get them back

at least not today, not today, not today

if it's over, let it go and

come tomorrow it will seem

so yesterday, so yesterday

I'm just a bird that's already flown away

laugh it off, let it go and

when you wake up it will seem

so yesterday, so yesterday

haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay-"

"THAT IS IT! SIRIUS SHUT THE HELL UP! NEXT TIME I'M GOING TO DO IT BEFORE THE DAY IT'S DUE!" roared James.

"So you should," said Remus smiling slightly.

_Good, my work here is done!_

**Stage 4…Randomness**

"Now children, today we-"

_Boring can't we have a better charms teacher? Maybe I should make things interesting._

"Frog."

"What?" James whispered.

"Frog."

"Bog?" James asked confused.

_And I thought I was thick!_

"Frog."

"Jog?'

"Frog."

"Hog?"

"I SAID FROG!"

"Mr. Black, I rather you not interrupt my class with uncalled for comments," said the professor annoyed.

"Yes professor."

_Stupid boring teacher. Maybe if I_ _assemble my wand here I can-_

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Mr. Black!" shrieked the professor.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?"

"Firstly turn Miss Evans hair back to its normal color, I don't think she appreciates it being blue. Then I want you out side until you decide to not interrupt my class again," ordered the professor.

_Hmm…now's my time to shine._

"Oh no, I fink I did a wee, wee, all well, Lassie will lick it up. Yep good boy lassie!"

"Good one Pad!" James laughed.

Remus scowled absolutely disgusted, and Peter sat there not even knowing what was going on.

"Mr. Potter quiet, Mr. Black, heads office now," ordered the teacher.

_Play nicely, now bow._

"Yes our majesty, I like bananas."

"Hey Pad, go up to the heads office, and explain your banana issue there," said James still laughing.

"Yeah, good-bye my fair ladies and sirs, though I shall be back!"

_Now to go up to the heads office to go tell Dumbledore about my fork issues, or was it…oh crap!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**What Goes Through The Mind Of Sirius Black**_

Warning! This also contains serious, yes Sirius, random events. **I do NOT own Harry Potter, I am NOT JKR, and I am NOT a GIRL!**

**Stage 5…Clumsiness**

_Another week gone, another weekend where I can sleep in as long as I like-_

"SIRIUS BLACK!" came a loud yell from the one and only 'best mate' James Potter.

_Okay maybe not as long as I liked, but what have I done now? Guess I should get out of bed. But this time I have to remember to-_

WHAM!

SMASH!

BANG!

SLAM!

THUMP!

CRASH!

"OUCH!"

_-to remember the door opens inwardly, so I wouldn't WHAM! into it, then SMASH! BANG! SLAM! THUMP! down the stairs and CRASH! into James who was standing at the bottom of the stairs._

"Sirius get off me," said James through gritted teeth.

"Thanks for savin' me fall Prongs."

James got up and checked if he had broken any bones, "No 'problem' Pad."

_Now that I'm up, I better get some breakfast, _"TO BREAKFAST!"

"Sirius you have to-" yelled James, though he was too late.

WHACK!

THUD!

"AHHH!"

"-step up to get out of the Portrait Hole."

"Hey Prongs, have you seen-wow!" said Remus looking around the messy Common Room, "Pad has been here hasn't he?"

_Ow, now I have to try and get up…wait…they're talking about me! _"I can hear you, you know!"

"He just fell out of the Portrait Hole again, didn't he?" asked Remus.

James nodded.

_Finally, I'm up now breakfast time! _"Come on Prongs!"

James sighed, "I better go with him, keep him out of trouble."

Remus nodded, "Good idea, I'll go help Peter with his…homework."

"You just don't want to be near Padfoot," James laughed.

_They seem to talk forever, hurry up…_

"I rather keep me two feet on the ground-" Remus' words were cut short by an ear-splitting scream.

"COME ON PRONGS!"

_Hey, let's see if I can walk backwards with my eyes closed!_

"Pad watch out for the-"

SMACK!

CRUNCH!

_He could of told me earlier their was a suit of armor behind. _

**Stage 6… Girls**

_I'm so bored…_

_hmm…_

…

…

…

…

…

…

_Okay! I'll find something to do! So first, let's see what I can do. Well, I'm sitting under a tree by the lake, the giant squid is nowhere to be seen, James is next to me playing with that goddamn snitch, there's some hot girls looking at us and giggling from the other side of the lake, Remus is reading a book, Peter is doing who knows what…wait…go back one._

_Remus is reading a book?_

_No! Go back one more._

_There's some hot girls looking at us and giggling from the other side of the lake._

_BINGO._

_We're playing bingo now?_

_Shut up brain._

_Sorry._

_Hot girls here we come! _"Are you coming Prongs?"

"Where?" said James, not taking an eye off the snitch that was buzzing around his head.

"There's a bunch of hot girls at two o'clock."

"It's two o'clock already?" asked Peter looking at his watch confused.

_Shut up Peter, go be confused somewhere else._

James did a strange twist and caught the snitch, "Nah."

"Lily's there."

_That'll get him up._

James sat up fast, "Lily Evans?"

_No, the Lily from next door, of course Lily Evans. _"Yes Prongs, Lily Evans."

James stood up, "Well what are you waiting for Pad?"

_A nice roast chicken, with golden crispy chips- _"Wait for me Prongs!"

**Around the other side of the Lake…**

_Wow, these girls look like…like, playboy bunnies with bleach blonde hair, except Evans, with her bright red hair; well actually, it's more of a brown. And what's funny about Evans is, she told me herself, that she likes James and all, but she likes watching James make a fool of himself in front of her._

"What's so funny Pad?" James said, staring from me to the girls that were only a couple of meters away.

_Only if you knew. _"Nothing, mate." _Now pat him on the back so he won't find anything suspicious about it._

"What are you up to Pad?" James asked a little scared.

_Maybe it was hit him over the head and he won't find anything suspicious about it._

"Sirius what are you doing?" said Lily Evans sweet voice.

_Huh? _

_Put your hand down Sirius._

_Shut up br- oh, quick cover it up._

"Just stretching." _Good, got out of that one with only a weird look. Sirius 1, Brain 8, oh damn! Out of the nine times I've used it, it's only lost once. _"So what are you up to Lily?"

"I-" Lily stopped when she looked at James and tried to hold back her giggling.

_James, not again. Better elbow him. _"James you're drooling again-" _Is that?_

_Now Sirius, remember what-_

"Sorry, Lily, I have some...um…business to attend to."_ That'll just about cover it. Now stand up tall and strut!_

"Sirius watch-" said Lily's voice, though her like everyone else was too late.

SPLASH!

_You should have listen to me._

_Shut up!_

_Is that me or is James laughing at you?_

_He would do nothing of the- He is laughing at me so are all the girls, I'll just sink and die._

**A day later…**

"Hey Sirius."

_Was that just me or was that just one of the most hottest girls in the school? It was, she just said 'Hey Sirius' to me, I feel…loved._

"I'm glad you think so Mr. Black, but you're in potions now and I'd like you to pay attention," said the professor.

_Damn! Not again! _"Was I whispering in my sleep again?"

James nodded, then whispered, "Yeah, you said 'I feel loved'."

_Great._

**Stage 7… Short attention span**

_Okay, first I need to heat up the pot then cut up the roots and beans before adding them and-_

_Hey it's a squirrel!_

_Come on Sirius, you promised me we would get good marks without getting distracted._

_Yeah, whatever._

_Now stir it counter-clockwise and-_

_Another squirrel!_

"SIRIUS NO!" Remus yelled

_What did I do now? _"Huh?"

"Leave him alone Remus," said James.

_What did I do?_

"If he put in that Lacewing Fly, which isn't even mentioned in the book, he would of blown us all up," said Remus outraged.

_Cool! Blown up, he he._

James started to laugh.

"It's no laughing matter, Prongs," reassured Remus.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," shrieked the professor, "detention. Maybe you should join Mr. Lupin."

_Moony in trouble? You have to be joking._

_We'll you got him in-_

_Hey look it's raining._

…

_Well it is._

_Another A in Potions this year._

**In detention…**

_This time we are not going to sit next to a window._

_Why not?_

_Because I said._

_You're only my brain, you can't tell me what to do. I'm sitting next to a window like I always do._

_Well you better do what you're suppose to._

_Writing the a hundred times is easy._

_Without getting distracted?_

_Without getting distracted._

**Milliseconds later…**

_Look! The giant squid has that guy's bag._

_Sirius pay attention._

_HA! Now the squid has the guy._

_That's it I'm leaving! opening of a door, fading footsteps, closing of a door._

_Hello? Brain?_

_no answer_

_Yes he's- hey it's a bug._

**Stage 8…There is no stage 8. Well sorry guys run out of idea's.**

**I would have loved to write more, but I really did run out of ideas. Maybe I could put these 7 stages into a story. Just add a lot more into it. R&R and tell me if I should make a story out of the seven stages, one in each year if I must. I did NOT do the seven years/stages one purpose, really I didn't.**


End file.
